CAN GOD GIVE YOU YOUR PARTNER?
So yesterday, I was reclining on my bed, with my ear piece in, I was listening to random songs when suddenly I heard this popular preacher man (name withheld) said "you have to seek God's face as a Christian for a life partner. Let GOD GIVE YOU YOUR PARTNER!"
This made me curious, and so I was fastidious to the message he had to tell. Mr preacher said inter alia that many marriages do not work out well because the Partner is not the one God had prepared for you.
Being the skeptical me, i whispered to myself, CAN GOD TELL YOU WHO TO MARRY?
Choice of marital partner is man’s exclusive jurisdiction. Man takes responsibility. You can’t put responsibility on God or any other Cosmic force.
This will definitely teach you a whole lot.
CAN GOD GIVE YOU YOUR PARTNER?
Please, do not confuse this with "Submission to a divine call" they are two different things
A lot of controversy or talking points may arise from this that's why we have highlighted each point numerically.
1. RADICAL deals bluntly and frontally with questions on Christianity sent in by readers of Leke Alder’s #Illuminare blog.
2. The question of spiritual discernment of marriage partner is an old issue in the body of Christ.
3. Central to this quest is the question of God’s will and avoidance of mistake.
4. Thus emerged the divination school of marriage, with the Christian praying and the Spirit of God “revealing” the partner.
5. Whereupon the man to whom this is “revealed” then approaches the lady with a “Thus saith the Lord” prophetic proposal.
6. The woman thereafter goes to seek the face of the Lord for confirmation.
7. A substrate of this religious ideology of marital choice is the belief that there’s only ONE person for each one of us.
8. This is what is called the “missing rib” theology, which of course creates an incredible probability ratio of 1:3.7bn.
9. But what if the person dies before he gets to make his choice? Will the counterparty never marry again?
10. There are people earnestly praying for “revelation” – some vision or picture of future spouse, or voice from heaven.
11. Then there are dangerous extensions of the doctrine in which a Man of God “prophetically” determines a marriage partner. Some even break homes by brazenly telling a married wo/man that "your husband/wife is not your husband/wife.
12. This sometimes entails breaking up a relationship bound for the altar, and replacing it with another marital equation.
13. Because of the authority of the Man of God such marital pairing is erroneously deemed a mandate from God.
14. The only problem with this “revelatory” system of choice is, it’s not Biblical! Can’t be found in the Bible! Because I waited for him to make a Biblical reference but it never came. He only used anecdotes to pass his message across to his numerous gullible crowd.
15. There’s not one instance in the New Testament in which such methodology is prescribed. (I stand to be corrected).
16. And there’s not one instance in the history of the Old Testament where God CHOSE a wife for someone.
17. Choice of marital partner is man’s exclusive jurisdiction. Man takes responsibility. You can’t put responsibility on God.
18. It’s why Adam’s attempt to blame God didn’t pan out! HE made Eve his wife. Your spouse is your choice, not God’s
19. All the heroes of the Old Testament – Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, David…not one did God choose a spouse for.
20. The simple answer to questions on Christian faith is, Show me in the Bible!
21. Isaac’s marriage fits more in the mold of an arranged marriage. That Eliezer prayed doesn’t make it marriage by prophecy.
22. The often cited case study used in support of the notion of “prophetic marriage” is that of Prophet Hosea.
23. Hosea was instructed by God to marry a prostitute as prophetic dramatization of the whoring of Israel after strange gods.
24. But even at that the prophet still chose which prostitute to marry! “HE PICKED Gomer daughter of Diblaim.” (Hos. 1:3)
25. I am aware some Christians contracted their marriage this way, but our practices cannot validate or invalidate God’s word.
26. Foreknowledge is not the same as causality.
27. That God shows you a vision of who you'll end up marrying doesn't mean he mandated the marriage.
28. That you dream about someone doesn't mean God is telling you to marry the someone. We dream our dominant thoughts.
29. Here are seven problems with the idea of marriage by prophetic declaration or divination:
30. One, it erroneously transfers responsibility for choice of spouse from man and places it squarely on God as “matchmaker."
31. Two, marriage by prophetic declaration has the patina of spiritual blackmail.
32. No one wants to be out of the will of God. When someone says God mandates a marriage that is a major burden and blackmail.
33. Three, it has an error component embedded. We must assume the man, or woman heard God right.
34. Four, the methodology makes a horrendous assumption – that a Christian can marry ANYONE as long as they’re Christian.
35. Nothing could be farther from the truth. There are critical proprietary factors that inform choice of marriage partner.
36. Five, marriage by prophecy ignores the importance of the physical dimension in the choice of marriage partner.
37. Physical attraction matters in marriage, as it goes to the issue of sexual congress, fidelity, tolerance and happiness.
38. There’s a reason God pointed out the beauty of women like Sarah, Rebekah and Rachel in the Bible.
39. There’s also a reason God pointed out that Leah was not an attractive proposition to Jacob.
40. But the principle of marriage by prophetic divination takes away a woman’s right to be attracted to whom she wants.
41. Of course there’s the argument that God knows what is best for us, but that same God gave us freewill!
42. And not just physical attraction, sexual attraction matters as well. It’s why the Song of Songs has graphic content.
43. Six, marriage by prophetic declaration rules out the question of falling in love with someone.
44. It substitutes it with a “love will develop” ideology. But suppose the love never develops?
45. A marriage without love and affection is a recipe for depression and disaster.
46. The marriage of Leah to Jacob shows the danger of loveless marriage. (At times, man's arrangements can still err)
47. With the Song of Songs God made a point that romance matters in marriage. So does erotic love, as well as friendship.
48. Lastly, perhaps the most dangerous dimension of prophetic marriage is that it puts the cart before the horse.
49. The wooing and knowledge discovery begin AFTER commitment to marriage. The marriage is a fait accompli.
50. How do you commit to marry someone and then begin to discover what should have informed the choice THEREAFTER!
51. It does not afford the parties to get to know each other first and on the basis of that make a commitment to marriage.
52. The parties cannot back out if they do find themselves incompatible. That would be disobedience to the “heavenly vision.” or tantamount to calling God a liar. #Illuminare
53. It is unfortunate that in the seeking of God’s “perfect will” we have chosen to complicate basic sociological processes. #Illuminare
54. We’ve replaced them with a contrived artificiality that criminalises normality and falling in love. #Illuminare
55. And so in seeking the spectacular we miss the simplicity and naturalness of the beauty of love.
56. God promised to lead us by his Spirit, and he does so in our everyday decisions and ablutions of life.
57. Leading suggests something natural, a simple life progression. It does not suggest the dramatic or spectacular.
58. “Leading” in the New Testament is the image of a shepherd and his sheep, not the image of lightning and thundering.
59. But we don’t seem to want the simple nudges of the Spirit. We want to hear a loud voice from Heaven!
60. Which incidentally is a demonstration of faithlessness. You have replaced faith with lust for signs and wonders.
61. It is within the parameters of God’s leading to like someone, to fall in love with someone, to want to go on a date.
62. Jesus enjoins us to learn the “unforced rhythms of grace.” (Mat. 11:28-30 MSG)
63. Once it’s contrived, or being forced to fit into a rigid spiritual mold, it is not grace.
64. Jesus said, “I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you…You’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Mat. 11:28-30 MSG)
65. When a marriage decision becomes a heavy burden on the heart, a compulsion or duty, that’s not God!
66. Go natural. Because God is leading you, he will tug at your heartstrings if you seek to turn in a wrong direction.
67. You’ll feel an unease and get warnings if things are not right. Your spirit will be heavy and you’ll feel “tired.”
68. That is God trying to dissuade you. The leading of God’s Spirit should be so natural to the Christian.
69. Am I saying don’t pray about your choice of marriage partner? Of course pray! You’re a child of God. Talk to your Father. You are his child, and that man is His Servant (Servant of God) child and servant, who will he confide in more, especially with issues such as this?
70. You may present your options to him. He’ll give you his personal opinion, which can be very blunt.
71. Instead of looking for dramatic revelation on marriage why don’t you trust God to guide you in the natural course of life.
72. You’ve got to be careful about hearing voices, laying out fleeces. Satan is a sound engineer, a special effects specialist.
73. As many as are led by the Spirit are the sons of God, not as many as are led by signs and wonders. (Rom. 8:14). What if the person God directed you to is HIV positive?
74. God cannot force anyone to marry anyone. That’s a violation of freewill, and he’s never ever done so, except you are Jonah
75. It’s important you love the person you want to marry. It is good to fall in love. It does not violate the word of God.
76. It is also important you LIKE the person you want to marry. Friendship sustains marriage. Sometimes, it takes more than love to keep a marriage going.
77. Physical attraction as well as cultural fit are equally important. Don’t ignore your taste.
78. And values are critical. It’s the underpinning of character. And you must consider the economic viability of the union too.
79. Still, your level of faith may also come into consideration here. Because your friend claimed he got married to his wife after GOD had revealed to him that she is His wife does not mean your case is the same.
79. Christianity is an individual race not a collective race, the same principle, grace does not apply to everybody.
80. Sometimes, couple's do have different reasons for getting married, GOD might reveal to you that someone is your partner, whereas that person is getting married to you because you are financially bouyant, in the end what is the place of Gof in it?
81. Some Clergy find themselves in a situation when they are not happy in marriage, but because they find themselves in a situation where their religion abhors divorce, they just sit tight in the marriage and endure. Marriage is something to be enjoyed, and not endured.
We hope this message was useful?
Edited by: Aluzu Ebikebuna Augustine
- ▼ 02/14 - 02/21 (3)